I’m writing this post because of something that happened at work. Nothing bad, but a funny little event. But the results of that event give me pause: the response to said event was a “politically” correct one but not necessarily one that answered the support question, nor did it even broach the subject that perhaps someone was playing a prank on him. No, it glossed over keywords and provided what appears to be a form email in response.

The Issue

When working at a company with computer people, one thing you should learn: Never leave your computer unlocked. Your coworkers will inevitably prank you – either by emailing another coworker from your account, sending them love messages over messenger, or having your background changed. (All 3 of the above have happened to me.)

Recently, and individual got “Hoffed”, which is having your desktop background changed to one of many pictures of David Hasselhoff – see attached. This is the image in question.

The recipient of the “Hoffing” decided to contact Windows Support and request assistance to remove the Hoff from his machine. (This individual was able to remove it, but a strange occurrence happened as per his email which prompted the support email.

The Email

What follows is this person’s email with all names and contact information removed, but the exact contents being enclosed:

Dear Microsoft,

Recently, my wallpaper was changed to a tiled picture of a shirtless David Hasselhoff. After changing my desktop picture, I have noticed that my lockscreen still displays the Hoff, and he’s still shirtless.  How did it get stuck there?

Did windows recognize the Hoff and decide that it liked it so much that it should remain my lockscreen background forever? Is this some undocumented feature of Windows Server 2003?

Any information on the subject would be greatly appreciated.

As you can tell, some obvious sarcasm there. One could acknowledge that the email was sent because the individual was bored, or just wanted to pass along some hilarity.

Now, I don’t know if Microsoft’s policy is to reply to every support email or if they get personalized attention versus form letter responses, but this email did receive a response.

The Response

Here is the response, again with all names and contact information removed:

Hello XXXXXXXX,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Customer Service.

I understand from your e-mail that you are unable to change the wallpaper on your Windows Server 2003 computer.

There are several ways to obtain support:

You may search for self-help articles to resolve your issue:

http://support.microsoft.com/ph/3198

You may also post your issue in the Microsoft newsgroups:

http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/windowsserver/bb430837.aspx

If the Microsoft Windows Server 2003 came from your computer manufacturer, they are your primary option for support:

http://www.support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?pr=oemphone

XXXXXXXX, you may also work with a Microsoft Support Professional via e-mail, telephone, and for some products, chat to resolve your issue. Please select the appropriate edition of Windows Server 2003 from the below link to contact the Support Professional. Depending on how you obtained your software, there may be fees to use the Assisted Support option: https://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?ln=en-us&x=14&y=13&c1=508&gprid=3198&&st=1

I hope the issue is resolved soon and appreciate your patience.

Thank you,

I see 2 issues here: One, this is most obviously a form letter, and 2, it did not address the issue requested. If it was, indeed, an auto-scan, it picked up on the keywords “wallpaper” and “Windows Server 2003” and focused on that. The individual mentioned that he removed it as a wallpaper already, but it was still there on the lock screen. None of the above links addressed that issue.

General Comments

Come on, Microsoft. If you are going to provide support, provide support; this is either an auto-scan with an automatic response from support individuals, or it is being responses by someone whose English language skills are not up to par. The question is not addressed herein; the initial “problem” that the individual quoted is being solved even after it was already done.

Lately, Microsoft has been great with how it approaches the developer sphere: open forum discussions, best practice sessions, opening up future developer products to beta far in advance to garner real feedback, stronger support for OSS. That’s a great leap in the right direction! But if the support team for your operating system environment cannot handle such a ridiculous comment as this one, and even maintain to resolve the wrong issue than was requested, then MS you got a ways to go… but at least one section of your company is on the right path.